Strength through the routine, rinse and repeat

It’s not even halfway through our deployment, and the blues sure have a way of setting in. Every day, there are required meetings. Every day, there is a myriad of tasks that must get accomplished. Then new tasks pop up. Each day, I wake up, shower, check email, go to many meetings that sometimes drag on, work out, eat, sleep and meet frequently with my department. Then, the next day, I do it once again. And again.  And again. The boredom and monotony are setting in. I feel it more with each passing day where I’d rather stay in bed than face the exact replica of the day before.

Where I may occasionally encounter a friendly face, or I may see in others the same feelings I’m experiencing, it’s not the same as getting a chance to recharge. Instead, as I pass someone in the “hall” (ship’s passageway) we simply nod, momentarily make eye contact, and faking interest says, “how are you?”  Then there’s the equally fake response of “good” “well” or “fine” or my favorite sarcastic one-liner: “living the dream.” This interaction often seems like neither party cares about the question asked.

It’s simply a courtesy that’s been embedded within our naval culture to say, so we do it, often too tired to put the strength and investment to actually care enough to make the greeting a meaningful interaction.I need a break. But that break is not a port visit with the same folks I work with each day. It’s ideally a chance to go home. To see my boyfriend who shares the same goals I have. To drive my awesome car. To leave the ship alone. I don’t know; to visit a library. See a play. Something different is not related to the military.

But that experience is still several, several, and several months away. I imagine many others are experiencing what leadership is calling “mid-deployment blues.” This is where you see the blank stares, fatigue, and sweaty Sailors and Marines sick of working. They need a refresher. A chance to feel the love from those that know them best. A chance to eat the food they want. But those people and that favorite restaurant are on the other side of the globe. Meanwhile, we continue to work REALLY hard.

And each day is the same.

And it’s hot. Really hot. Not “oh it’s a bit hot, and gee I might need a fan” hot but miserable, unbearable, unbreathable hot. Despite leadership herculean efforts to mitigate it, we frequently have heat-related injuries. Some spaces feel like what I can only imagine hell would be if I were religious: sticky, sweat pouring from every gland, and spaces that stink from others’ sweat. Everyone wore out to the point where we want to quit. But we don’t. We push through the heat, the boredom, and the dull routine.

Why?

Because we all know that what we do out here matters. Yet it’s hard to connect the dots sometimes. That Sailor working in the trash room sorting all the disgusting crap we discard. Or the poor soul charged with cleaning out the feminine products clogging our toilets. How do they carry out our military objectives?

But they do.

Each one is contributing to something bigger than ourselves. In port, we are ambassadors to the United States. Reading the news, I read about tragic collisions at sea, Iranian drones flying too close to us during flight operations, or my very ship involved in a combat mission. It reminds me of how vitally important our work is in the intense Arabian Gulf heat. An aircraft carrier does not run without its crew engaged, disciplined, motivated, and as our commanding officer likes to say “ready to fight.” We are ready to fight. We are keeping our eye on the prize while not taking our foot off the gas. At least that’s me. And it’s what I feel we all are doing.

Make no mistake, it’s a struggle. But one I’m lucky to do. Like many challenging periods, this is an opportunity for creativity, to find little adjustments to the routine to stay sane and sharp. I try a different workout. I change my eating habits. Read a different genre of books. Write in my journal. It’s such a tiny change compared to being home where easily I can adjust habits and see something new, or try something novel.

I have to celebrate those little victories that keep days fresh. Just recently, I decided to eat clean (no dessert, portion sizes, grilled versus fried, etc)…tiny steps to make getting in shape another goal out here. Now I’m hungry all the time, a wonderful side benefit to weaning myself off sugar. I volunteered to host our officer’s Open Mic night, a unique chance to showcase creative endeavors, be that a musical instrument, poem, or idea. I may decide to share one of these blogs at a future event. I can instead focus on those daily hallway greetings as a chance to give a warm smile, a sincere check-in with someone, and offer a kind word. I may never know what impact this might have but can tell you I’ve radically changed my mood based on those fleeting moments. So it’s a waiting game now till I can come home and have a “normal” life again. And, I live in a country where I can freely express this opinion without fear of retribution or retaliation.

Many others cannot.

It’s once again an opportunity to adopt a positive mindset and be ready for whatever challenges the next day brings. Even if those items include meetings, more meetings, and oh and that last minute job that’s now suddenly a crisis.

Gotta love it!