My broken RV and a Navy move brought me the love of my life

On a beautiful, sunny day in Hawaii, I find myself on historic Ford Island, near Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. It’s close to sunset, the temperature is a perfect 75 degrees Fahrenheit, and I’m relaxing in the passenger seat with the seats reclined. The windows are down, a cool breeze is flowing in, and outside my window, I hear birds chirping as cars slowly go by. I’m in Hawaii attending a work conference, while simultaneously enjoying paradise.

Next to me in the driver’s seat is my boyfriend Jordan. He is editing a video via his cellphone. I pause to think how weird it is that I met him when I was the most crushed emotionally, at one of the lowest periods of my life, at a place where I felt so miserable and alone.I never expected to find love at the beginning of an aircraft carrier assignment, a duty that guarantees little time at home, and lots of hard days at sea. But if I’m sure of anything, it’s that life is unexpected and unpredictable.

I’ve done 10 moves in my 21-year naval career. Only one of those moves I’ve had a partner by my side. The rest I did as a single woman. Although I’m sure friends and family may have been willing to help out had I asked, I usually traveled cross country by myself. At each duty station, I found it emotionally draining to leave the community, and the friends I grow to love.

After so many years, it’s taken a huge toll on my spirit. However, it’s the sacrifice I made to serve in a calling I fought so hard to obtain. It wasn’t easy for me to become a naval officer in public relations, but that’s a story for another time.

This is the story of finding love when I felt so unlovable and lost.

My move to Washington State in July 2016 crushed me.

For starters, four months before I was set to transfer from San Diego to Washington, my Los-Angeles based boyfriend of a year blind-sighted me with a breakup. This was just after buying a “starter RV,” better described as a piece-of-crap “project.” We had plans for my boyfriend and his kids to help me move. We were going to enjoy the RV together discovering never-before-seen parts of California and Oregon. A couple of weeks after dumping me, he abruptly cut off all contact after l learned he accepted a job offer to Seattle, meaning he was relocating just 45 minutes away from my new home.

Two months later, I experienced another profound loss. My beloved Boxer dog Linc had to be put down, one that I nursed to health for months after a hip injury and trained extensively for severe dog aggression. I wrote here about the deep bond I had for Linc, and how despite all his issues, he taught me what really matters in life.

So there I was, headed to a dream job as a public affairs officer on an aircraft carrier with an unreliable RV (more on this later), no dog, and no significant other. Thankfully, I did have a few dear friends, ones who kept me going through this tough time. In fact, this time I, fortunately, had a friend offer to help me move, and I decided that receiving help was ok. Once I arrived in Washington, I figured I could either fill my days crying myself to sleep and obsessively dwelling on my pathetic predicament, or I could go on dates with what I hoped would be interesting people. At least with the dates, I might find someone who could show me around my new city.

Staying realistic, I kept my expectations for something serious low. After all, I was set to go underway with my ship in a couple of months and knew the next year and a half promised little time at home to really get to know someone.

The dating process in Bremerton, WA started off abysmal. Although I had a zillion disclaimers on my profile such as no hook-ups, no enlisted men, and that I was looking for something serious, I met enlisted men not ready for anything serious. One guy I met was so controlling that after a promising first date, he refused to stop for food after a long hike and proceeded to lecture me on my unhygienic habit of keeping a daily water cup on my kitchen counter. Although it provided a much-needed distraction, dating was turning out just as lonely as staying home each night.

Then one day, I was swiping through online profiles on OkCupid, and I came across Jordan’s. He looked friendly, good-natured, but young. I was surprised he was so open about living in an RV. He said he was looking for a place to move it near me. I was still so new to this way of living, so I thought it was odd a guy would admit to living on wheels. Little did I know then about the community of “normal” (aka smart) people trading in the traditional American dream home for an affordable parking spot, and the flexibility that this lifestyle entails.

I decided to ask if he might be interested in my RV spot. Since I went cheap for RV living, I paid the price for that dumb decision when the transmission went out on the way to Washington State. My spot in the RV park was going to go unused for two weeks since my rig was three hours away from getting repaired.

That’s $250 wasted. Would Jordan want my spot, and then pay me? Is that legal? Not really thinking about the details too much, I reached out and asked him. Plus, I thought it might be good to know someone in the area who also owns an RV. He got back to me within an hour, and said sure, he’d come take a look at the spot. He also added that he was good at fixing things, so if I needed any help with mine, he’d lend a hand.Instead of taking this kind gentleman up on his genuine offer, I did what so many people do online and flaked on him. I got scared because he was a stranger, and realized that I may have acted impulsively reaching out.

Two weeks later, I mistakenly thought my refrigerator was broken. I knew next to nothing on repairs, so I had the idea to call Jordan. Pretty crappy right? I figured he’d be justified in not responding, but since I had nothing to lose unless I asked, I did. An hour later, he showed up at my house. He had a gorgeous smile and kind eyes, but because he was younger than me and lacked a white-collar job, I’d figured we’d be friends only.

It’s disturbing to me now to reflect back on the silly stereotypes I placed on someone so brilliant and amazing. Especially when so many Americans can’t get a job, are broke paying off exorbitant college loans, and considering that skilled trades pay well, and are in high demand.

For the next several weeks, Jordan taught me about my RV. We installed blinds, replaced the tubing under my sink, extended my shower stall, and flushed out my black water tank among other glamorous projects. He taught me repairs in a gentle, non-condescending and incredibly patient way, making me comfortable learning. I felt safe and happy hanging out with him. As my way of showing gratitude, I’d buy us dinner. Our best times getting to know each other happened at Home Depot, spending countless hours buying parts, and doing fixes ourselves that would have cost me thousands of dollars to pay a technician.

Gradually, I came to realize how shallow my preconceived notions were about having a college degree and soon saw the usefulness and sexiness of a man that had skills he painstakingly developed over a lifetime. I also found out that he had a You Tube channel on the RV lifestyle. Jordan is also an adept storyteller, photographer, and video editor. He even took pilot lessons at one point. I came to admire and respect his ingenuity and confidence. No maintenance problem is too tough for him. If he gets stuck fixing something, he looks online for an answer and relentlessly sticks with a problem until he figures it out.

I fell in love. A year and a half later, we’re still together. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I know that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m prepared for us to be geographically separated at some point, so we can both achieve our professional and financial goals. I also know that relationships are hard at times and take work. I’m happy to do the work to keep us strong.

It took years of learning how to relate in a healthy relationship to enjoy one. And I’m grateful for what I have. I take it day by day. Each one is a blessing with him, and I strive to live life to the fullest. I believe everyone deserves the love I have now. I never gave up hope that I’d find love, and I believe everyone can have this opportunity.

I strive to live completely in the present, and not think too deeply about the future. That’s the best way I can view life for now, and one I plan to stick with for a while.