How serving in the Navy changed my life
Teenage Theresa was never thinking naval service was in the future. If you would have asked my high school girlfriends, they would have told you that I was looking at becoming a pregnant fugitive living in a mental hospital.
In fact, I know this was a close prediction for me. When I visited my hometown of Columbus, Ohio a few years back, the father of my childhood best friend joked about my prospects basically saying, “I just figured you’d end up pregnant and alone.” It was a surreal moment to see the look of shock and awe on his face as I described my present life which far surpassed what he thought I would become.
As I reflect now, I agree. I was a lost little girl. Like many young people, I had problems with self-esteem, setting boundaries and overall impulse control. This was not a typical recipe for a distinguished life of military service. My weekends prior to joining the Navy consisted of binge drinking, sleeping around, and dancing at bars till the early morning hours. At work, I did just enough to skate by and stay under the radar at my menial office jobs and in the food industry. I’d then use my meager wages to continue to fund my self-destructive lifestyle, buying overpriced, name-brand clothes so I could be “cool” and apartment furniture I couldn’t afford, the whole time raking up lots of debt with no plan on payback.
But somewhere along life’s journey during this crazy period of excess, I thankfully met a few key people who had served in the military and even a few guys I was sleeping with at the time who thought joining the service was a good idea. They told me it would give my life direction, and I could see the world and pay off my mounting bills. I was easily impressionable and thought the travel sounded exciting. If they thought serving in the military would be good for me, I was all in.
Now it’s 23 years later and I’ve been through many failed relationships, gotten written up at work a few times, and undergone intensive therapy. However, I’ve also deployed half a dozen times, led award-winning teams, and immersed myself in other cultures visiting more than 20 countries. With three years of sobriety along with countless years of never-ending self-reflection, I’m still going strong. I have a career as a public affairs officer that I love. I’m married to a man who is an equal partner and supports me in every endeavor I take on (even my many volunteer-driven community service projects). I set healthy boundaries with others, and I love the person I’ve become. Reflecting back, I also have compassion for the lost little girl I once was.
It’s this life of military service that’s made me the person I am today. It’s the mentors I’ve had over the years who took the time to tell me what I didn’t want to hear at crucial moments who ended up making the biggest impact on me. I may have not listened to them the first, second, or even third time they tried to drill it into my thick skull, but eventually I listened to them, and it may have taken a miracle, but eventually, I fucking grew up.
There are so many reasons why a life of military service is a transformative journey. There is no better melting pot of cultures, personalities, and perspectives. It really is a proving ground to find one’s way through life, to learn effective leadership, and it’s through the Navy that I found my life role as a professional communicator and leader. There are many young people who are struggling too. I hope by writing about my experiences, I can inspire them the way so many helped me. Life sucks at times, and when I got my ass handed to me, I put on my big girl panties and made a life I could be proud of.
A life of naval service gives one a chance to focus on shared goals and join teams who are protecting sea lanes, who are exercising with other nation’s militaries, and who are staying ready to protect our cherished nation’s values.
More personally, the Navy can help people like me, a lost little girl trying to figure out who they are and what they stand for.
This Veteran’s Day, besides thanking those who served, perhaps the day is an opportunity to encourage a young person who’s struggling to consider military service. The U.S. Navy recruiting page has countless options available for those who gravitate towards engineering and math, but artistic types like myself who can offer a creative edge.
Besides multiple career options, the Navy is where women and minorities are needed, welcomed and included. It’s not just a man’s world anymore. Women making up nearly 15 percent of all those who serve. There is a calling for anyone who yearns to excel and be part of a winning team. If you’re driven, work hard, treat others kindly, empower others, and even if you screw up, you can learn from it and grow to be better.
Please talk to someone you know about joining the military. It’s through this conversation that you might just change their life. That’s what happened to me. You never know how your mentoring will inspire others and where it can lead, but it’s time well spent even if it doesn’t seem that way at the moment. You might be grooming the next Admiral or General, or you might just be helping a young person become more civic-minded.
We all can contribute tomaking the world a better place. Let’s get to it!